


catch us not saying i love you(s)

by halocinated



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Love Confessions, M/M, also kinda - Freeform, kinda??? just soft boys being soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-11-18 02:06:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18111062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halocinated/pseuds/halocinated
Summary: He says,I reek of youand it's the closest thing to him admitting these... emotions and feelings regarding them. Together. In romantic sense.(Or, Doyoung confronts Yuta about their feelings. Not Confession occurs. It ends kind of well, if you ask him.)





	catch us not saying i love you(s)

**Author's Note:**

> i read too many poems and is in a weird mood and i am,,, doyu deprived,,, hence this fic. i am sorry. this is unbetaed and english is not my first language. still, i hope you enjoy this!!! ♡

“Yuta-hyung,”

It is after practice when Doyoung calls Yuta, effectively postponing their journey back to dorm. The other NCT 127 members are already going back, leaving the two of them alone in their company’s practice room. Doyoung knows Yuta like the back of his hand, knowing that his hyung will take a little longer with cooling off and drinking his water, and this might be his only chance at this.

At confrontation. To addressing something between the two of them that left unspoken for too long.

“Yes, Dons?”

Nakamoto Yuta is a sight to behold when he’s drenched in sweat. He sits cross-legged on the floor, water bottle beside him and hands cracking. He does look tired but the light in his eyes is still burning bright. Kim Doyoung wants nothing but to admire the bottled fireflies in Yuta’s eyes, but he steels himself and scoots closer towards the older man--so they sit face to face, both on the floor.

“I want to ask you something.” Doyoung asks so eloquently.

Yuta _hmm_ s, permissive. Doyoung asks him many things. This might be one instance when the younger guy noticed his slip-up and wants to asks if Yuta has any problems, anything he can do to help… _typical_. So Yuta waits.

Imagine his shock when Doyoung drops a question like: “Hyung, do you like me?”

Not beating around the bush and straightforward, typical Doyoung. The younger guy is looking at him with straight face while biting at his bottom lips, a sign that he’s nervous, so Yuta takes his time at formulating a response to that. (Yes, he is cruel like this. Take it as a revenge for making him taken aback with the kind of question Doyoung asks.)

When Yuta finally speaks, he intends to say it in the most ambiguous shit he knows.

“My dear and doomed,” Yuta says it ironically, smile thin and strained. He reaches out so his hand can cup a side of Doyoung’s cheek, stroke his jaw a little softly, and he sounds so defeated when he whispers his next sentence. “I reek of you.”

And all the air Doyoung held in his lungs gone, just like that. His chest tighten, suffocated by feelings that threaten to spill all over them. That threaten to take over his brain to mouth filter, these emotions that are tender and bruised and blooming like crushed petals. Because he knows they are always trying to be subtle in their show of affection when it’s so out of characters for them--Yuta is all possessive declarations and vice-like grips while Doyoung takes a lot of care with his naggings and skinships.

But with Nakamoto Yuta, everything Kim Doyoung knows about loving and longing changes.

Because they are unlike any other, dynamic defined by bickering and play-fights (and sometime fights, in serious term) and Doyoung likes how Yuta treats him as equals. Never backing down with the roasts, their back and forth of sharp words and sharper wits, while taking care of him with tender actions and soft grins. They acknowledge each other's strengths and weaknesses, prodding and probing each other to be the better version of themselves every time. Yuta loves him, Doyoung knows, and Yuta loves him the way Doyoung wants to be loved.

Because love has many faces when it comes to Nakamoto Yuta. And the one Yuta shows him is what Doyoung loves the most about him.

So Doyoung leans to his touch. Rests his cheek on Yuta’s palm, closing his eyes while he does. He tries to breathe, he truly does, and the air escapes his lungs in a sigh. Yuta stills. Doyoung is afraid to look at his hyung’s face, to look back at Yuta’s brown eyes and finding his face reflected in them. (Yuta always says Doyoung is brave, flying and soaring without being scared of falling, but with emotions running wild and high like this… falling is an option he can’t avoid.

Like Icarus, his wings are only sometimes.)

“And I you, hyung.”

This is the closest thing Doyoung will admit to Yuta about loving him. About the longing, the lingering touches, wandering gazes. Yuta will know, Doyoung is sure, because his hyung is smart. Smarter than he is, at least, in the field of the heart and its turbulence regarding emotions.

Silence engulfed the two of them. It is heavy, one they don’t know how to break. The weight of their confessions hang between them like too-heavy backpacks that bent their backs. Because they know, even with knowing this, everything between them won’t change. They are still idols. Not allowed to date until their contracts say so (which maybe never). Going backstreet is an option, sure, but the burden of telling their bandmates is something they have to think more thoroughly later. Not everyone is accepting of two men who love each other in this harsh industry, after all.

For now, this is what they do:

Yuta lets his hand fall. Doyoung flutters his eyes open and faces Yuta head on. They look at each other and let their arms touch, Yuta letting Doyoung reach for him and pull him into a hug. Doyoung’s hands resting on his back, his own hands clutching the fabric of the younger’s sweatshirt. When he inhales, Yuta can feel Doyoung’s fragrance filling his lungs. His head falls to Doyoung’s shoulder and they stay like that for minutes (that feels like eternity in little space).

“We’ll figure this out,” Yuta says the same time Doyoung blurts out, “We’ll work this out.”

 

Yuta looks up, finding Doyoung already looking at him with tender gaze, and he can’t help the soft smile blooming on his face. He lets their foreheads meet, bringing Doyoung’s hands so their fingers can be intertwined, and whispers, “We will.”

 

 

Because, after all, this is their choice. They had dared to love, had dared to confess, and now they have to face the reality, bear the consequences. 

 

It’s okay. They will manage.

 

Doyoung and Yuta have each other. And that, that is enough for now.


End file.
